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Eden
Crow Pub & Restaurant
Where
Humility is God's Work and
Good Eats and Stiff Drinks
are
the Path to Grace and Redemption
Always
Open
(Whether
or not you want us to be)
Le
Menu |
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| Le
Prise |
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Specialities
Du Jour |
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Roasted
Crow |
You
can't afford it |
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Cooked
to you can stand it no more. This dish comes prepared en papillot. For a
special treat you provide your own paper. We recommend divorce filings as
they make the sauce properly bitter. |
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Crow
Stew de Jour |
Budget
friendly |
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This
specialty is made from bits and pieces of crow that in themselves would
not appear on the surface to belong together. But combined and mixed with
such a dazzling sauce of pungent tastes and aromas, it has a powerful
effect. Chef Rhett Tribution says this recipe is mostly guess work. Patrons
who experience this dish can't fathom how such an unbelievable offering
came to be. |
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| Specialities
Du Maison |
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Baked
Crow Breast |
Let's
see your bank statement |
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A
succulent rendering from the tender portions near the heart and spiced to
the taste with pine and safforin'. Eat slowly and savor because it will
remind you of Momma when she told you that making this for you was harder
for her to do than it will be for you to feast on it. |
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Barbecued
Ribs a-la-Crow |
Market
Rate |
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Although
ribs of crow may be on the minor size, they have such juicy meat on each
of them that they must be sucked until the ribs are clean, and then the
marrow in the bones extend the treat. This is cooked the way only Momma
could manage to do when she had little to work with, but wanted you to have
a full meal. |
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Country-Fried
Crow |
At a Country-Fried Price |
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This
is the down home, back road, so damned spicy, crunchy meat, light or dark,
marinated in a sauce concocted from dark spirits so hot that it can only
bring tears to your eyes and make it hard to breathe. It won't matter how
you eat this because it will hurt any which way. Don't use your fingers
if you have any cuts or wounds and be extra careful if you have any canker
sores. |
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| Desserts |
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Apple
Crumb Humble Pie |
Cheap
but Loaded with Calories |
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Just
Dessert? Of course. Huge portions, too. Perfect finish to an evening of
crow. Made with Eden apples not for eating. A wise man would have known
when to keep his mouth shut. |
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S
& M's C-Delight |
How
much do you want it to cost? |
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This
is not for the chilled individual who can't handle a tough muse. This
ass-kicker of an after-crow blend burns on the way in and hurts like Hell
on the way out. It makes you not want to be in these situations, after
all. You will not be crowing about this for a long time. |
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Libations |
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Alimony
Ale |
Cheaper
than a Lawyer |
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The
bitterest brew ever. |
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Bailey's
Irish Crow |
Comes
with Free Asprin |
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This
mellow, smooth creamy libation is as easy as any going down, but it has
a kick 20 minutes later that reminds you why eating crow was the order
of the day. |
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The Resaurant at the end of your patience
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